Dead.
Died.
And will never ever be revived again.

Exam is over.
And most peeps would probably thought that hols are here.
But u're so wrong.
I've started sch again last wed.
I only had a week of hols aft my paper.
How pathetic!
Oh wells, at least on a brighter note, i'm so gona graduate SOON.

Met up with galfren last nite.
Ling came along too.
Dinner was gr8t, but the company was BETTER! =)
Miss my galfren like mad coz i havent seen her for like 4861726495 yrs.
Haha.
But yep, schwork has been madness for the both of us.
I'm glad life's been good for her.
Lotsa updates.
Lotsa catching up.
Lotsa love.
PLUS lotsa camwhoring.
Too bad my cammie is still with mummy.

Oh, i was a free gal for the past wk.
Coz mummy went overseas.
So had lotsa fun with my boy.
Mahjong-ed again.
Mummy's back already.
And i've got lotsa pressies. *lalala*

Got an interview on thurs.
Pray hard i get the job.
Need it badly.
Coz i'm seriously too broke.
Though tuition is good.
And did i mention, i've got a new tutee.
He's jus so cute.
Heez, its gona get so busy soon.
Esp when work starts, and when project kicks in.
I'm not sure if i'll be able to enjoy this module, though its an advertising module.
Coz the local lecturer SUX big time!
Yes, we all hate her.
Never come across such a lecturer who is so sacarstic, so arrogant, and so bitchy!
Wonder how come she can be a lecturer.
Oh wells.
Jus have to live with it for the nxt 2 mths.
Luckily its summer sem.
If not i'll be dead.
haha.
Alrite, gona head out soon.
Till then

I need lotsa LUCK.
And hopefully a MIRACLE.
Praying for the best coz i seriously cant understand what i've studied, much less rmb them all.
Its all so alienated.
Sigh.
Peeps, pls wish me luck k.
I need it super duper badly.
Dooms day.

Hey babes and hunks, I wana thank everyone who turned up today.
Yes u, U, and YOU.
Thanks for making my nite such a wonderful one.
Thanks to BSC that I knew all of u wonderful peeps.
Thanks for making my bday celebration so wonderful.
Once again, really appreciate all of u who turned up today.
The bond is still so strong aft so long.
Really hope this friendship/bond will continue always.
Dinner and drinking session was great.
Thanks a million peeps.
Loves ^_^
*smuackz*

anyway, i'm heading to dreamland.
needa wake up in a few hours time to mug AGAIN.
I HATE EXAMS! BAHZ!

Sometimes, I wonder if I am allowed to be happy.
For once I feel contented, shite happens.
Alrite, I shan't elaborate.
But once again, I'm feeling down jus coz of some small lil stuff.
Nitez everyone.
Not in the mood for now.

Happy birthday to me =)
Finally turned 21.
Sigh.
Time flies, soon, i'll be seeing 3 big candles on my bday cake.
Alrite, back to books.
Will be heading out for dinner ltr.

Back from my trip.
Had hell lotsa fun.
There was hardly enough time to enjoy.
Not enough.
I'm definately heading back there again.

Din't manage to get tanned, coz the sun wasnt scorching enough.
Weather was superb.
I love the beach, the waves, the stars at nite, the villa, and the buggy!
It was fun driving the buggy.
Though I took some time to familiarise with how to operate it.
Even taught my darling to drive the buggy. haha.
So shiok to be able to get chauffeur around finally.

Collected plenty of beautiful seashells.
Its an enjoyment to be able to cook for a loved one.
Cooked 3 sumptuous meal for jus the 2 of us.
Well well, overall, it was a good getaway.
Pics will be uploaded once i get the pics.

I cant concentrate for nuts.
Exam's ard the corner.
Slacked enough for the past few days.
But yet the next two, are gona be busy preparing for my trip.
And the following 3 will be gg outta sunny sg, to another sunny island 45 mins away frm sg.
Am so looking forward to it.

Some peeps might think i must be outta my mind to be heading outta town whn exams are ard the corner.
But hey, i need a break.
A well-deserved break for me to get started and get my distinction again.
I've already gotten 1 distinction this sem, and i hope i'll get another.
19th nov.
That's the dooms day.

Well, the 3-day gettaway is somewhat like a mini celebration for my 21st.
A make-up celebration i guess.
I'll still ask u guys out for dinner or sth ya.
No worries.

Anyway, I needa start studying soon.
If not my distinctions will fly away.
50% exam based sux.
Furthermore, its a ram subject. *sigh*
Oh wells, i still need to do it anyway!

I jus chatted with my dear fren, someone who was surprised by my call.
Hope u'll be able to do well.
I know u'll be reading this, maybe not so soon coz u're busy, but in time to come.
Well, jus wana tell u that no matter what ur decision is, jus BE HAPPY.
That's the main thing ya.
Like i said, u can choose frm other options.
Dont worry, jus do ur best.
If u've given it ur all, and it still does not turn out well, then maybe u shld give up.
Since u're already so drained and its 'eating' into too many things.
Rmb, can always give me a call or msg me whn u're upset k. *hugs*

Alrite, I shall go and "try" to study for now.
Its gona be a long day tmr =( *sigh*

Its jus one of the bad moody days i'm having right now.
I suddenly feel stupid for whatever that happened 5 mins ago.
Brokedown.
Finally!

Mood's been on a rollercoaster ride this couple of days.
I blew my top at Ben AGAIN this evening.
It's the first time i scolded him so badly, and i even put him down so badly.
I jus couldn't take it anymore.
I felt useless once again.
I held back my tears while waiting for the bus.
Aft that, headed for project meeting.
Took my mind off my useless-ness for awhile.

Aft that, the stupidness came back whn i did sth extremely stupid that i myself cannot believe it.
Fking hell!
And then, tears started falling like a waterfall.
I dunno why, but i seem damn pissed with myself.
Even pissed coz i cant whine to u, as u are too tired.
Nvm, shant pick a fight again tonite.
I dunno why, but i keep asking for fights recently.
Throwing my temper at anyone who jus try to talk to me.
Its jus the damnbloodybadmood day.
Yes, i believe like what i told nurrie, its jus one of the deadline symptom.
Aft nxt mon, hopefully, my mood will change for the better.
Fk it.
I jus wana fking hide away.
I hate myself once again, for my uselessness, my stupidness, my inability to control my temper.
Fk it! ARGH!!!!!!

The last week before strat deadline!
Has anyone ever wonder why deadline is called deadline?
Isit coz we'll be dead whn the time comes?
I guess so.
Coz everyone is damn stressed up with the assignments.

Well, its gona be a super duper busy week ahead.
I can forsee myself being "tortured" by the amount of workload, plus the lack of sleep.
Its also gona be the last week of working.
The last week for me to earn $ before the kids go on a holiday.
Well, I'm kinda stressed up with the kids too, coz its their exam week.
I've put in alot of effort throughout the whole year, and this is the time to see the effort and hopefully, they will score well.

After the kids exam, will be my turn. heh =(
I seriously hate exam.
Especially whn its Ram's subject, and its gona be 50% exam based.
*sheesh* its been so long since there's so high a weightage for an exam.
I'm so totally screwed, coz i'm definately not an exam gal.
I'm gona start mugging nxt wk.
Coz i'll be free frm tuition, and deadlines.
Well, which also means, that i'm gona be broke for the nxt two mths.
Till sch reopn. *sigh*

But then again, this mth i'm earning ALOT (ok, its not really alot, but jus more than usual).
I've been having lotsa lesson with the kids, which is equivalent to almost 1 1/2 - 2 mths of pay.
Plus i haven't been gg out for the past 3 weeks, which means, i've been saving up most of the $$ that i've earned.
*yippee*
I shld be able to have enuff cash for my long awaited trip.

Oh, maybe i shld get a job frm nov onwards.
Coz i'll be kinda free plus i need the extra $$.
Been kinda broke coz i've overspent the entire year.
This is so not good. *shakes head*
I needa save up for my future.
Especially if i'm gg over to aussie for my hons.
So dear frens, if anyone of u have any job recommendations, pls let me know.
Thanks a million =)

Nov, faster come!!!

Warning! This is gona be a whiny post.

Its the 3rd consecutive weekend that i've been cooped up at home.
The last 2 wks was coz he was having his guard duty, followed by live firing.
This wkend, i'm busy with strat mkt.
I can forsee the nxt to be the same.
Coz strat is due on the 29th.
Which means, nxt wkend's gona be the mad rush.
Report is only half done.
Which means, we're so damn screwed!!!
I need more time pls =(

Well, afterwhich, its gona be wkends and wkends of studying.
Havent been mugging since erm, 2 mths ago?
*sheesh* I'm so gona die.
Luckily i only have a paper on the 19th.
Which means... i can still 'enjoy' abit on my bday.
Haha. I'm gona proclaim it to be a "NO STUDY day" just on my bday.
I really needa break.
And I cant wait for my trip to be here.
Some peeps find me brave, for travelling jus before exams.
But i seriously need a break so damn badly.
Jus take a 3 day break before I start mugging, if not i'll most prob go bonkers.

Sigh. Another sem is gona be over.
This is seriously so stressed up.
My dearest gals, are so gona grad already.
Soon, i'm gona see lesser familiar faces in sch.
No, i din retake or repeat any modules.
Jus that i slowed down my pace, coz its way too stressful to be taking full 4 modules per sem.
And i jus cant wait to grad nxt yr.
Praying very hard that I can take my honours.
Its not easy, with only an intake of 10-12 per year.
Seriously, its WTH!
10-12 students who are from all campuses.
Like outta the thousands of students.
Omg!

So what if i qualify with a minimum of 70 for my gpa.
So what if i got the $$ to go over.
So what if i wana go over so badly.
Its all up to the school to decide, and for me to perform in their interview.
I never knew it'll be so difficult to achieve honours.
No1 told me at the beginning.
But nevertheless, i'm gona try.
If not, i'll jus have to start working already.
Which is something i dread most.
sigh.
enuff of sch.
I better go rest and hopefully my fever doesnt come back again.
sux to be sick at this time. i have no time to be sick!

How do you react to compliments?

Here is the analysis:

If you try to change the subject when you are being complimented or you simply ignore it, this means that you don't like to pretend and you cherish authenticity. You feel that saying nice things to someone is merely an attempt to please the listener. You don't believe there is truth in compliments, and think that the complimenter must want something in return. You have good self-esteem and aren't afraid of criticizing, or being criticized.

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The favorite place in your home

Here is the analysis:

You love freedom and hate to be controlled. You want to walk away from all the rules and rely on your imagination to direct your life instead. When you need to reenergize yourself, you head to the beach or to the forest.

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Your Handwriting

Here is the analysis:

You can be a secretive person. You like changes and are always wanting to try something new. You also like to think seriously and are cautious when it comes to making decisions. This can make you look more mature than your friends.

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What's on your mind?

Here is the analysis:

You'll drop everything to be with the partner of your dreams, and you'll give their sentimental presents rather than expensive ones. Nevertheless, your spontaneous nature does have a limit, and when the romance is over, you'll head back to work to pick up the pieces.

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The Hang Glider

Here is the analysis:

You are ambitious. Your husband is likely to be a well educated and well-to-do. He should also have a secure job and succeed in his career. You do not care much what others think of you. You choose the man who adores you. You always dress well without caring how much you have to spend on your clothes. You are embraced with wealth.

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Your Hidden Talent

Here is the analysis:

The Mass Communicator
You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.

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The House

Here is the analysis:

Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person.

You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. You often come up with solutions to problems. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You always have plans on your mind. This might cause a lot of stress if things don't go the way you expect. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

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Your Working Style

You are friendly, adaptable realists. You rely on what you see, hear, and know first-hand. You good-naturedly accept and use the facts around you. You look for a satisfying solution instead of trying to impose any "should" or "must" of your own. You are sure a satisfying solution will turn up once you have grasped all the facts.

You solve problems by being adaptable, and often can get other to adapt, too. People generally like you well enough to consider any compromise you suggest. You are unprejudiced open-minded, and tolerant of most everyone--including yourself. You take things as they are and thus may be very good at easing a tense situation and pulling conflicting factions together.

With your focus on the current situation and realistic acceptance of what exists, you can be a gifted problem solver. Because you are not necessarily bound by a need to follow standard procedures or preferred methods, you are often able to see ways of achieving a goal by "using" the existing rules, systems, or circumstances in new ways, rather than allowing them to be roadblocks.

You are actively curious about people, activities, food, objects, scenery, or anything new presented to your senses. Your expert abilities in using your senses may show in:

a continuous ability to see the need of the moment and turn easily to meet it
the ability to absorb, apply and remember great numbers of facts
an artistic taste and judgement
the handling of tools and materials

You make your decisions by using the personal values of feeling rather than the logical analysis of thinking. Your feeling makes you tactful, sympathetic, interested in people, and especially good at handling human contacts. You may be too easy in matters of discipline. You learn far more from first-hand experience than from books, and do better in actual situations than on written tests. Abstract ideas and theories are not likely to be trusted by you until you have been tested in experience. You may have to work harder than other people to achieve in school, but can do so when you see the relevance.

You do best in careers needing realism, action, and adaptability. Examples are health services, sales, design, transportation, entertainment, secretarial or office work, food service, supervising work groups, machine operation, and many kinds of troubleshooting.

You are strong in the art of living. You get a lot of fun out of life, which makes you good company. You enjoy your material possessions and take the time to acquire you. You find much enjoyment in good food, clothes, music, and art. You enjoy physical exercise and sports, and usually are good at these.

How effective you are depends on how much judgment you acquire. You may need to develop your feeling so that they can use your values to provide standards for your behavior, and direction and purpose in your lives. If your judgment is not developed enough to give you any character or stick-to-it-iveness, you are in danger of adapting mainly to your own love of a good time.

After struggling with the stupid and brain-recking strat mkt project, i decided to take a break and do this test. Somehow, I didn't see this test the other day till u mentioned to me. So here is the results. Its jus all in the name of fun. Dun take the results too seriously. I'm gona go lala land already. I shall jus shut my brain/mind off strat mkt, and stress over it again tmr. Good nitez world.

The Real You

Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.

4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

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What's your personality love style?

Here is the analysis:

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

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What type of personality do you have?

Here is the analysis:

Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

Sick and home alone on a boring Sat.
Blogged hopped and koped this frm Yuping's blog...
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Its jus done for fun.
Is the results accurate?
Its for me to know and for u to find out =)

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Its terrible to be sick.
Especially whn u know u're all alone.
*sigh*
Stupid outfields.

On a lighter note, capstone (aka crapstoned!) is finally over on Tues.
Presentation was hilarious.
Thanks to me and bimbotic val.
And yes, I got my distinction once again.
So glad for that.
Just that i'm 3 marks short of a high distinction.
WTH.
But nevertheless, i shld be contented already.
Oh wells, I can never get my gpa of 75 anymore.
*sobz*

Honours seems so near yet so far.
I really dunno what's the criteria till now.
But i really wish i can do it.
Coz i dun wana step into the working world yet.
=(

Well, being sick for 3 consecutive days, is horrible.
Plus i couldn't even get to slp on tues nite.
My nose is on the verge of a migration, my throat is constantly feeling itchy, and my back is aching like mad.
Medicine cant seem to cure it too.

I cant wait for Nov to come.
Nov is a gd month.
Though I'd not be celebrating my 21st, and my exams is in nov, but it is still a gd mth.
Coz I'm finally gg away, frm sg. FINALLY!
And it means hols is here to come.
Oh wait a min.
Maybe no more hols coz I might take the summer sem.
Stupid MIS.
Coz my module isn't offered in Tri 1A, thus I have to take it in summer, to be able to grad.
How nice eh! =(
I tot i'd be able to rest for 3 mths.
Crap!

Alritez, time to earn $$.
Till then peeps.

ps. though i'm not celebrating my 21st, but presents are still warmly welcomed k ^_^

I am not as strong as I appear to be.
Maybe I've done a good job by hiding behind my mask all along.
I'm actually very weak within, jus like an other gals, human beings.
Maybe noone actually knows the real me all along.

ARGH!
I really hate whining...
But sometimes I really wonder.
Am I such a bad person, or is what I'm doing wrong.

Why is it so hard to please others?
Yet I try so hard to do so.
And in the end, everyone is not happy.
Why do i try so hard, to make everyone but myself happy?
Even willing to sacrifice my happiness jus to please others, but no one appreciates it.
Am I doing too much?
Am I being a busybody or am I a nobody that noone is willing to care bout my feelings?
Why am I always so afraid of hurting others' feelings, trying to be nice to them even though I myself will get hurt?
Why why why?

Maybe I shld be a moron, and jus fk care everyone else feelings, what they think, and think for myself for once.
At least I know, i'll be much happier.
If that's what everyone wans, I'll jus do it.
What for make the whole world happy at the expense of my own happiness.
I am jus a fking retarded brainless person.

i just simply hate every single bit of it.
no one cares. no one bothers. no one gives a shit bout everything.

Why am i always the cause of our unhapiness?
Why do u have to always be the one to give in to me in the end?
I hate the unhapiness, the quarrels, the differences.
Whatever it is, thanks for always giving in to me.
ilu!

it was a happy day.
started off with having mac breakfast.
i jus simply loveeee mac breakfast!
but the bad part is, i've gotta wake up super duper early. *yawns*

aft breakfast, headed home.
had a good rest before started cleaning up my rm.
thanks alot my 'maid'.

after that, went to Long House for dinner.
duckie rice followed by Thomson Prata.
*woohoo* ate till i could barely walk!
my stomach almost burst!

aft that, headed home.
i jus love spending time with u.
u + good food makes ele happy.
been having lotsa good food these couple of days since u're back frm Thailand (parklane wanton mee, rochor bean curd, geylang dim sum, crab, sushi buffet lunch, and the list goes on).
but but but! why dint i put on any weight!
this is SIMPLY not fair! =(
my goal frm now till nov, is to gain at least 5 kg!
if possible, i wan 8 kg.
but being realistic, i think 5 kg is damn difficult to even achieve.
why isit so difficult for me to put on wt.
but so easy for me to lose wt.
this is seriously so not fair =(

oh well, more good food tmr.
Brewerks, here we come.
then i wan my cheenatown char kuey tiao, parklane wanton mee again, carls' junior again, botak jones, dim sum, long house western food (as requested), and more good food pls.
anyone has any recommendations on other good food, pls let me know!
coz i needa achieve my goal. =)
till then, i'll continue drooling on my long list of to-eat food

I suddenly feel happier.
Maybe its coz of u.
Thanks for always being by my side.
Tolerating my mood swings, my irritating nature, and ME.
Haha.

Well, time spent together always seem to end so fast.
But it doesnt matter.
As long as we have quality time.
The weekends always seem to pass especially fast.
Like u said, "kuai le shi guang guo de kuai"

Some say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I'd say, even without absence, I'm still missing u always!
Absence only makes me feel worse!
Haha.

My sweet baby is already planning what to get for me on my 21st.
Something memorable, or something that I'd use often.
Which shld I choose.
I'd say as long as its from u, I'd be happy. =)
So easily contented.
So easy to please.
U're really lucky lor!
Tsk!

I love spending all my time with u.
But somehow, I don't have all the time in the world.
I wish I got more time, u've got more time.
But, step back to reality.
We've just got to make do with whatever is given to us.
Hence, I wana study hard, get good grades, work hard, earn more $ in the meantime.

Thanks evil twinnie, for always cheering me up.
Though u're faraway at down under, but thanks for still being so concerned.
*hugs*
Miss u so much!
Take care and faster come back k.
Ur 'angelic' twinnie misses u ALOT!

Okie, need to get back to research work. =(
Feeling damn tired.
Lack of slp for the entire wk already.
But what to do.
I've gotta endure!

I'm TOTALLY excited!
There's a HIGH chance I might be able to go Curtin to get my honours.
But that is only IF I maintain my results, or do even better.
I WAN my 1st or upper 2nd class!

More happy coz I've ur support this time, and that u'd even consider joining me in Aussie to get ur bachelor, instead of staying put in the local uni or even SIM.
*yay*
This made me so happy.
Coz I still rmb that time when my mum ask if u'd like to go overseas for ur bachelor, u replied me with a straight NO.
Seemed firmed with wanting to stay put then.
But now, I know how much u love me, that's why u're even considering to come over join me in Aussie.
Thanks baby.

Still rmb that time when we quarreled for days when I wanted to go over Perth for my last sem.
And we almost even split up coz of it.
Thinking back, we've really come a long way.
I compromised then.
To stay coz of u.
Now, u're accepting and even encouraging me to complete my honours there if given a chance.
PLUS even wanting to go there study together.
This is the best plan ever.
Coz I know it'd be hard to be separated for 1 whole yr.
If we managed to get there together, I'll stay and wait for u to complete ur deg, coz u need at least 1.5 yrs to 2 yrs depending on ur course.
I'll jus work or whatsoever.
And we'll be able to come back together.
Sounds like a PERFECT plan.
A dream come true!

I'm jus so excited thinking bout it.
Totally glad.
Therefore, I MUST continue to work hard for these last 2 sems.
Continue to get my distinctions, or even H. Distinctions.
Then, I'd be a reality! *smiles*

jus as i tot the happy days are here to stay...
all the shit has to affect me again.
i jus wish everything would jus disappear and that i'd be able to get outta this asap.
coz i might jus breakdown the longer i stay.
give me some space.
i need to leave.


RUNAWAY!
ESCAPE!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!



i'm sorry for always hurting u, coz i never meant to and i dont ever want to.
but its always those who are the closest that'd end up being the most hurt.
i'm sorry.
i love u.
thanks for always standing by me.
i'll emerge stronger one day.

i wish my depression would jus leave.
coz it seems to be affecting not only me, but hurting u too.
*sigh*

i almost tot i'd jus die of the pain.
fking eediotic cramps!
i almost fainted on my way back frm tuition ytd.
my legs went wobbly, my face was pale.
broke out in cold sweat.
i'd never experience such an intense pain before.
i swear it was the worst.
that i tot i'd prolly jus die.
luckily i managed to make it home.
but rolling ard in bed doesn't ease the pain.
took ard an hr before the pain got better...
but then it lasted till ard evening.
bad bad day.

luckily it ended before i was to head out.
21st bday party before a drinking cum soccer watching session.
epl is here again.
which means, i've gotta tag along for more soccer sessions.
bleah!
it's been a long long while since i last drank.
oh well, drinking is GOOD!

so tiring having to put up a false front.
especially to a loved one, as they'll always be able to notice every single detail.
maybe its time to stop hiding from my emotions.
its time to face it.

Its finally AUGUST!
the waiting is sure tough and long.
but since its Aug, it means the day of ur return is nearer!
YAY...

everything aside.
what i need most now, is a doc.
i'll go to the clinic latest by nxt wk.
all i wan now, is to get outta this shit.
its haunting, and eating me up mentally and physically.
frens, ele will be back soon.
be patient and wait for my return.
i wana score my distinctions, i wana enjoy my 21st...
most importantly of all... I WANA BE HAPPY!
that's my ultimate aim for the rest of ay'07!

1 wk down, 1 more wk... 7 days.
we can do it =)
though the missing gets tough, but 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'...
hence, miss me more ^_^

so many things for the 2 of us to do whn u're back.

well, pitstop, cheenatown, shopping, movies, beaching, spending time tgthr, and the list goes on...
it'll all take place during the 1 wk break u have, and the many wkends to come =)

thanks baby, for being here for me.
i'll get myself cured... soon!
as long as u're by my side, nothing is too tough.
i will emerge stronger, one day.



i'll walk outta the shadows,
back onto the place i shld belong.
hang on, be strong.
i'll be back soon my dearest, my frens.
everything's gona be alrite...

when u get calls continuously frm 4am - 5am, frm the same person...
its definately irritating and freaking pissed off
well, u stepped on my toes 1st.
i'm not gona give u face or whatsoever.
call me unreasonable, but u disrupted my beauty slp.
i jus yelled on top of my voice down at u.
fking hell!
don't u plain understand eng & chi.
get a life!!!

i hate it.
every single thing bout it.
think i'm gg crazy soon.
get me outta this shit!
i'm not as strong as i seem to be.

思念原来是这么辛苦的
好想好想你啊
快点回来
等待着您

[11 more days]

Life's miserable whn u're gone.
Faraway in Thailand.
Its only 2 days, but it seems like eternity.
Missing u every min.
11 more days.
Hope time pass faster.
Weather's so cold, i wan a cuddle.
Pls come back faster, safely!
I'll be waiting for ur return.
I miss my s.b.b
Muackz

i needa find myself back.
its terrible whn u know u're losing control of ur thoughts, ur emotions, ur mind.
shrucks.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
its gona be2 wks of agony.
the agony of separation.
1 more day to ur departure.
how am i gona survive.
i think i'm gona jus rot at home for 2 wks.

When depression strikes...
Its just too scary

when everything i do is wrong... what more can i say

what will life be w/o u?
i dont know and i cant imagine...
but if both of us are suffering, then i guess its time i'll let go

Is it over?